Guilt

So I am happily going along, and haven't schedule my return 6 month mamogram. I guess I just have been putting it off..ugh. Then I find out a good friend has breast cancer. It's started me feeling guilty. Why her? Why did I get off Scott free? Now don't get me wrong, glad I don't have cancer......but how did I get lucky? This life.... Guess ya just live each day and hope for the best.

Results In!

I am...... Negative!!! No cancer!  I have never been so happy to hear the words "your clear!"  I have the flu, but no cancer. I must say it really does change the way you look at things. Never again will I complain about big boobs. So for now, I'm hanging on the sofa, pushing fluids without cancer!

Waittttttting

The longer I wait for results the more I run into people who have been in the same shoes as me. It almost makes it feel like God is preparing my heart for a positive result. I was in church this morning and a woman beside me stopped me and said "I just have to tell you, you have a beautiful voice. It reminds me of my mother. I shut my eyes and listened to you and it was like she was standing right next to me telling me she will be ok. She has breast cancer and today it was like you were her". I immediately began to cry and shared that I am getting my results tomorrow. Then we prayed together.  She kept saying this is in Gods hands, and you will be fine, even if the result is positive. It's just strange.....ya know how in the earlier post I said I just wasn't sure what my gut was saying? Now I am beginning to wonder......do I have cancer? So many questions, so few answers. Guess that's why they call it living lol. Till tomorrow folks

Biopsy..... Hmmmmm

Welp....... This week my biopsy was scheduled, canceled, rescheduled then changed again.  Bottom line? I had my biopsy yesterday afternoon right before I went in and worked a 12hr nite shift. Today has been PJs and soft fuzzy blankets alllllll day. I get the results Monday. I keep thinking, "what is your gut telling you?" You always here people say, "oh I knew in my heart" I can't figure what my heart knows. I know I will never quite look at things the same way again. I know I find telling people odd. Some people there is no reason for me to say anything too, I tell. Others I should tell and I find it difficult. Guess that's part of the "I'm fine, there's not really anything wrong". Hopefully that's true. Here's hoping the weekend goes quickly!