sigh...

I havent been doing very well on my mission to do one selfless act a day. Not because I am a horrible person, I just kept forgetting! Then I would feel guilty when I would remember. How selfish is that to be so busy in my own life, that I can't remember to do something nice for someone else. UGH! Then we went to church yesterday. Since this is kinda my journal and I don't really think anyone out there is reading this, I will divulge myself and expand on Pastor Tim's sermon. He spoke about David and Bathsheba. Now, if you have been brought up in the church you have heard that story many times... I have. I have even heard several different approaches and angles. However, Tim was lead by the spirit to talk about how Davids sin implicated so many people into his sin. It did not just involve him. And yet when called out for his "discretion" (I am being nice!) his initial response is "God, my heart is not right" How often in my life, I ask for forgiveness for the sin. I yearn for God to help me to do better next time.....but have I truly asked God to replace my heart? Not just pardon the sin? Tim went on to say that sometimes we are so hung up on the sin that we don't realize the "bigger" sin.....not allowing God to have control of our hearts. Our every passion, hobby and longing should be for Christ. When I am busy, or tired....cant say that devotions are what comes to my mind. Perhaps my struggle to do a selfless thing each day should be tried again, since God and I had a serious conversation yesterday. I do long to be that person......the one who is a true reflection of Christ.The one that people know......she is different. Not because of my actions, but because they see Him in me!

A personal challange

How can I make a difference in the world...or at least my corner of it? I have been aware that just like most americans I get wrapped up in my life. I have been feeling like the walls of my house are closing in on me abit. Perhaps that means I have too much stuff! So....what do I get rid of? That got me to thinking about making a difference. What could I do that would really make a difference? I am setting out a personal challange for myself. Each day, I will try to find something that I can do that is a selfless act. Something I receive nothing from, but the joy of helping someone else. Could prove to be interesting. Will keep you posted.
me

Thinking.......

So, I have been thinking. Hard to believe huh? It is strange and yet exciting to think about our son getting married. Yet as a mom, I find myself so often drawn to the memory of holding him in my hospital bed and counting his fingers and toes. Looking over each little inch of him to try and soak up the "himness" of him. I longed to know this person whom had grown inside of me. The combination of energy that was created out of the love of Dwayne and I. I remember the early frustration of trying to breastfed and learning in those first few days that this boy had a stubborn streak! How is it that I can remeber those moments like they were yesterday, and yet the past 22 years seem a blur? Life truely does just happen.....If we do not grab onto each moment and surrender ourselves to the adventure of it, we miss it. I pray I taught those two little boys to laugh....really laugh. To love, to never look back, but to just wrap youself in relationships of those you love and to allways further the circle of love to include more and more people. All to soon...........that's what Aunt Gertie used to tell me!

Here we go!

Am I too old for this? I guess that at the ripe age of 42, I can still learn new things. Like how to run a blog. Thank you Julie! I decided to make this for me. I am hoping it will  be a way for me to express myself and perhaps I will learn something about myself along the way. So, if you are reading this, you may learn something about me too. And we're off!